Sweet Enigma

It’s kind of funny how everyone get’s so happy and hopeful about a Friday approaching soon. What does that say about the structure of our lives when all we seem to live for is the weekends? We work all day with people we don’t care for, doing things we dislike doing and we get home and work some more, and when we are finally done we feel too exhausted to do anything enjoyable. So we just wait it out till the day (Friday) when we don’t have the obligation, even if it’s just for a few days. Americans don’t recognize the pleasure of living and it’s sad.

Twitter is very popular with celebrities because it’s a very effective tool to be heard by the masses while eliminating much of the “noise” that comes from followers. Celebrities expect to be seen and heard yet they don’t want to hear and see their audience. They like knowing there is a devoted audience listening but they love the fact that twitter blocks all feedback from that same audience on their main page.

Robert Deniro & Martin Scorsese

I’ve transcended my interest into foreign films and have been pleasantly surprised to find plenty of soul in French foreign films. The most recent picture I viewed really captured me. The story was based on the life of Seraphine Loius, a middle aged french woman, who had a distinctive untrained talent for painting her own dark interpretations of what she saw in nature. Her paintings had an enigmatic, almost visually beautiful but unsettling quality to them.

In one of the scenes in the film: Madame Delonges explains what she sees after her first time viewing Seraphines paintings “Your Flowers are strange…they move… they look like insects… they look like wounded eyes… Shredded flesh…Terrifying things…” Seraphine responds “I know, Madame Delonges, Me too, when I look at them. What I’ve done scares me.

Seraphine of course suffered a mental illness, as do many who encounter a life of hardship, but that was a her curse that resulted in her beautiful captivating artwork.

Seraphine’s lifes story is amazing considering that timing is everything, and that time was working against her. She was discovered in 1912 by a German art collector Wilhelm Uhde when he stumbled upon a small canvas of painted apples and was later astonished to find that the artist was none other than his housekeeper. Wilhelm Uhde tries to encourage Seraphine to paint more so that he can showcase her art, but the war between France and Germany forced him out of France and could no longer provide Seraphine with his support. Many years later Uhde comes back to Senlis and finds that Seraphine has become an even better artist then he remembered. Uhde showcases her work in 1929 and for a brief period Seraphine finds success and wealth she has never known, but it is short lived since the crash 1929 stops people from buying her work. Soon after she was taken to a mental hospital and it is there where her lonely life ended.

about self esteem

Many people spend their lives trying to find themselves, trying to find out who they are, waiting to become stronger people before they venture out in a thing called hardship. But what those people fail to see is that they will most likely be waiting to find themselves in a “limbo” of self-doubt stagnant wondering and paralyzing fear of making their dreams come true. Self esteem is not something you gain by “finding yourself” or by easy methods that you find yourself fantasizing about. the statement “if only” is one of the most disabling words you can ever say.. (I’f only I won the lottery, then I would be happy”) Wrong. The common saying no pain no gain couldn’t be anymore truer. The only form of gaining self-esteem is by doing. having courage to try and make mistakes, get out there, take risks. Overcome your fears through them not by avoiding them. Avoidance of your fears and doubts will make you feel safe but throughout your life it becomes a severe limitation of your potential.

By this certificate know ye that: [insert your name below]

___________________________________________________________
is a lifetime member in good standing in The Society of Childlike Persons and is hereby and forever entitled to…

walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rainbows, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, watch the moon and stars come out, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, sing in the shower, have a merry heart, read children’s books, act silly, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, hold hands and hug and kiss, fly kites, laugh and cry for the health of it, wonder around, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, feel happy, give up worry and guilt and shame, stay innocent, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, talk with animals, look at the sky, trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, take naps, do nothing, daydream, play with toys, play under the covers, have pillow fights, learn new stuff, act excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world, make friends with the other kids on the block, and do anything that brings more happiness, celebration, relaxation, communication, health, love, joy, creativity, pleasure, abundance, grace, self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace and life energy to the above named member and to other humans and beings on this planet.

Further, the above named member is hereby officially authorized to frequent amusement parks, beaches, meadows, mountaintops, swimming pools, forests, playgrounds, picnic areas, summer camps, birthday parties, circuses, weddings, cookies shops, ice cream parlors, theaters, aquariums, zoos, museums, planetariums, toy stores, festivals and other places where children of all ages come to play, and is encouraged to always remember the motto of The Society of Childlike Persons:

It’s Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood

Source: Original Author unknown. Courtesy of one of my favorite people that I am fortunate to know, Jim Callner.

On one fateful school day at age 7, I had my first real lesson in not believing everything I’ve been told. I discovered a Readers Digest book that contained several Dinosaur facts, the moment I read those facts, I realized that they did not coincide with several crucial Sunday school Bible lessons. For instance, I knew that the Bible was written thousands of years ago and as soon as I learned that Dinosaurs fossils and bones weren’t discovered and identified until the 1800’s, I said to myself, that’s it! It is no wonder there is no mention of Dinosaurs in the Bible. In that moment I knew instantly that the Bible was written by man without the word of god, and man as we all know are prone to mistakes.

From that moment on I started to question everything, and when I did not get acceptable answers, my faith in the catholic religion began to spiral downward. God is all-knowing, is he or isn’t he? Is the Bible meant to be taken literally or not? Make up your damn mind!! I never got any straight answers that made sense from anybody.

Up until age 18, I had been led to believe that I was going to hell for all eternity for having blasphemous thoughts. Now I realize that fear is the very tool that keeps people from asking reasonable questions. If one tried to make any sort of logic or sense to the Bible’s words, they would see that it is impossible. I struggled for nearly 8 years to let go of what I knew in my heart to be a lie. If you ask me that is far too long to be able to let go of a myth. But I pride myself in knowing that I least I had the courage to grow up and let go.

I am not here to tell people what to believe or what not to believe. I am ashamed to admit that I have also been a bigot myself many times in expressing my views on the stupidity in organized religion. I realize that there is no point in doing that and people have the right to believe whatever they would like, so long as it does not interfere with my beliefs, my business, my government and my rights.
I am completely intolerant to any religion that interferes with my rights as a human being, unfortunately that is the problem with most.

Am I an atheist now? not exactly. I ceased to believe in the personal god a long time ago. Instead I buried myself deep in astronomy because to me, that was the ticket to the truth. What I didn’t expect was that what I learned about the universe turned out to be more beautiful and amazing than anything I ever learned in the Bible. Suddenly human emotions, occurrences and life in general made more sense in every way. There is no way for me to explain this well enough until you’ve been down the same road, all I could say that it has been a true awakening. “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better”-Albert Einstein. I knew exactly what he meant.

So I’m not an Atheist anymore, simply and beautifully I believe god is the universe (nature) and the Universe (nature) is god. I used to thank god when mass was over after every single time my mother dragged me to it. Now I don’t need to go to a torturous one hour mass every Sunday in order to be one with god, all I have to do is be alone in my thoughts and with nature. The official term for what I am is a Pantheist, some Judeo-Christians will call me lost but hey guess what? At least my religion doesn’t conflict with science.

It may seem like a self-defeating behavior to write my ideas off as mediocre, before I even begin to write something, but I pride myself to holding off until I have something substantial to say. Quality vs Quantity is a standard I try to live by in every aspect of my life. In modern days, any half-wit could proudly call himself a writer and spew out uninformed opinions about mediocrities. “The best author will be the one who is ashamed to become a writer” initially, I was puzzled by this quote asking myself why Nietzsche would say this but it makes perfect sense to me now. To be a writer is an assumption amongst yourself or your readers that you have credibility, this is a heavy load to carry for some, for most other writers it is irrelevant. Their crucial concern is that they are worshiped for their ideas..you can usually spot these presumptuous writers for the lack of depth/soul in their work. This feeling goes for any line of work.. The great and respected Japanese Director Akira Kurosawa admitted that even after all of his years of experience in film, that he had still much to learn. The wisest men will stay true to their beliefs but admit that they know very little. Ok, I probably shot myself in the foot with this post, but good thing I’m not a writer.